When you have repeated murders, werewolf sightings and evidence of students getting tortured being wholly ignored by the grown-ups in the wizarding community, it only makes sense that something as profound as a date-rape crisis plaguing students at Hogwarts would be placed in the same "do not care" file. What if Dumbledore took him away from his parents? . So imagine the black market in the wizarding world that exists for the hairs of, say, famous starlets, with dudes giving themselves several hours' access to famous genitals. That is, until a hope is discovered or rather.. a magical Veela is discovered which could save the Boy-Who-Lived once and for all. Harry doesn't eat them, but his friend Ron does, at which point he becomes a slack-jawed lust-obsessed zombie who has to be cured by a teacher just so he can function again. For a few days it seemed like a bad idea. Someone has to pick up the pieces of Harry's broken soul. The boy is trembling and shaking and there is a tint of purple to his otherwise pale lips. An Ungentlemanly Disagreement, by Filippo Argenti, available in paperback and DRM-free on Kindle. Well, unless you count the part where she is abducted and gang raped by centaurs in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. *Might change name. The boy leads trouble from the moment he set foot on the stones of Hogwarts, and yet, the troubles seem deeper and much darker than usual. Harry Potter | Draco Malfoy | Action Fanfiction Romance Hazel Potter. -Dumbledore!Bashing Suicidal thoughts But is he all that he appears? If you accept cookies from our site and you choose "Proceed", you will not be asked again during this session (that is, until you close your browser). On The Halloween night two terrible mistakes were made. There is go Harry discovers his friends true colours after narrowly escaping death. Durmstrang's Pretty Boy- Drarry Fanfic~ Book 1 of 3 in The Pretty Boy Trilogy. Lily and James have a different life. ***Book 2 of the Wright Family SeriesBook 1: Mommy, Where Is Daddy? Severus just never expected to be the one to do it. In one legend, centaurs were invited to a wedding feast and attempted to rape the bride. Also known as 'Harry and Voldemort Explore Fanfiction Tropes Together'. Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox! They say you shouldn't touch what isn't yours Too bad no one told Harry that. #1 - topdraco 11/12/22 Author J.K. Rowling had a way of throwing a bone to the grown-ups here and there by slipping in sly little adult references along the way. He baths in the blood of his enemies. Kas knows it can't be true but she is too weak to argue until she starts to go through an unusual transformation and display abilities that are not normal for a werewolf. She did not want to become the person that he doted on the most. But Umbridge comes back, and comes back suffering from some kind of major trauma that didn't involve any damage to the visible parts of her body. (Warning: Mention of rape. The love potions in the Weasleys' WonderWitch line alone include such adorable names as Beguiling Bubbles, Heartbreak Teardrops, Kissing Concoction, Twilight Moonbeams and, no joke, Cupid Crystals. Hazel Potter was Harry's twin sister. Harry wonders if the sorting hat put him in the right house, he won Harry goes through his inheritance and finds out that he's been lied to and who his mate is. One evening, while excusing himself from a family gathering, a girl came up to him and kissed him out of the blue. It disconcerted him that the boy had never told anyone about the abuse either from Lockhart or his family. Enraged by their betrayal, Gabrielle crashed into their engagement party and drank to her hearts desire. Attempted suicide Charlus Potter is wrongly declaired the boy who lived. This is the first book of the Hadrian Potter series. . Seriously, crystals, and each one of the products can be disguised "as perfumes and cough potions" to hoodwink Hogwarts' already AWOL authorities. wbwl, drarry- he with the avada kedavra green eyes !!!DISCONTINUED!!! His house mates can't take anymore. Or My Mom Will Shoot like Sly thought he would? Bullying So, that is my answer to YOU. This story is set in around Harry's 6th year and dear old Voldy is After enduring the torture of the Dursleys, Harry just can't take it anymore. His home life. I don't own Harry Potter and I suck at summaries. He makes the decision to contact Tom, fed up with how he is being treated. Andy Dick and Scott Adams make Joe Rogan seem like the sanest guy in the room, Renfield gave Cage a taste for blood that hasn't been satisfied in one feeding. The Alpha's own thirst for conquering neighboring packs lands him in hot water with the council, a governing body made up of every type of supernatural creature that keeps the peace. This is the more thought out version! During Harry Legilimency lessons a long forgotten memory comes into light. From that day forward, he vows to never utter another word again. Also some abuse. I wake up with a pounding headache. It's halfway through the summer, before his sixth year, and Harry is trying to sort out his mixed feelings and emotions. He wanted Lockhart to stop, but was powerless. Theres a layer of metal floating in the sky above you right now. So, while everyone cares only for Charles, Harry is cast aside and has to fight to survive. Imagine a universe where this stuff actually existed. But that won't stop him from uncovering the truth. This is another of J.K. Rowling's quick, throwaway jokes that is meant to fly right over the heads of the 9-year-olds but is supposed to make the grown-ups giggle. -There won't be alot of granger mentioned but if it would be it won't be in a positive sense Perhaps because she caused more problems and was the only girl in the house. The detention Harry gets with Lockhart comes about in a different way, and is spent with less than school appropriate actions. But you know Aberforth having this strange fondness for goats if you've read book seven, came in really useful to Harry, later on, because a goat, a stag, you know. As a war between Ryder's pack and Black Mountain breaks out, Brook must decide just how far she will go to save the ones she cares about. Includes Slytherin!Harry, Fem!Harry, Plothole!Harry, Flamboyant!Harry, Joker!Harry, Dark!Harry and more. It's the perfect disguise, and it's not just their face -- you assume their entire physical body. What will happen, when Harry Potter died instead of Sirius Black (His mortal Godfather) at the DoM in his fifth year of school and it caused the seal of soulmate bond on one Draco Malfoy to break? In fact, there are apparently enough half-giants in the Harry Potter universe to warrant their own wiki entry. I clench my fist in anger 'how? If you log in you can store your preference and never be asked again. -Weasely!Bashing (Minus Bill,Charlie and the twins) After eating the chocolate gifted to him by an anonymous admirer, Harry realizes he is very much in love with none other than the handsome Gildery Lockhart. The older man smiled before twisting his wand between his fingers, whispering words Harry didn't understand. Its apparently impossible to buy off a guilty conscience, I sometimes wonder if fear isnt just Gods way of saying, Pay attention, this could be fun, Hes worse than a frickin shark with a laser beam strapped to its head, Me and my team of researchers are proud to report that water is wet, Rock slaps back this Saturday in the live Netflix special Selective Outrage. I sit up only to fall back because of a sharp pain reminding me of what happened last night. Trying to save her friend, Lily, the Marauders, and the rest of Gryffindor and Slytherin find out how much he was suffering because of their abuse and neglect. If it's not shocking enough, she had the top competing Alphas as her mates. He's known as the bad boy, the best friend and right hand man to Draco Malfoy. Kas knows it can't be true but she is too weak to argue . Updating status. Yeah, that's Norman Bates shit right there. . Her Alpha has abused her for years. The great Harry Potter received a letter from Gringotts saying that he just received his creature inheritance. Check out Rowling's reaction: Q: In the Goblet of Fire, Dumbledore said his brother was prosecuted for practicing inappropriate charms on a goat; what were the inappropriate charms he was practicing on that goat? It was as if, time had stopped and it suddenly dawned on him that for the first time since he could remember, he experienced what it felt like getting a boner.After that fateful kiss, he swore to make Gabrielle his! The Flame of Love can warm even the coldest Heart..Alpha Zero of the Cold Mountain Pack has no interest in finding his mate. *Warning Mature content*** English is not my first language so I know especially grammar isn't all what I could but I am working on that**. A mysterious little boy named Harry moves in next door to Draco Malfoy, and he's determined to make him his friend and learn all of his secrets. This book has some violence in it. It's Harry Potter's first year teaching DADA at Hogwarts under Headmaster Snape. The precise number of wizards -- and witches -- rubbing wands with these huge humanoid monsters remains a mystery, as does how it works when it's a male giant and, say, a 5-foot-tall female. 'No no ' said Umbridge, sinking back into her pillows. This story takes place in fourth year. Strong language Privacy Policy. If you would like to learn more about the disturbing facts of life, Jacopo asks that you check out the topic page for his latest book Go @#$% Yourself! She doesn't have any plans to meet new friends, not even her mate.However, the Moon Goddess seemed to have a different plan for her. There Harry will make a decision that will change the world for better or worse. In that very school, she met her twin mates. Not knowing how to deal with this new information Harry turns to an unlikely person, Severus Snape. Different Harry Potters visit Little Hangleton, and Voldemort's the only one with much sense around here. He hated it. (Hint: It's Hermione, the character whose main purpose in the plot is to know absolutely everything.). For more information, please see our Until Draco Malfoy notices. The villain of the wizard world, Lord Voldemort, was the result of a female wizard using magic to turn a rich guy into a mindless sex slave. I have no idea what the hell I'm doing so please bear with me Chelsea Handler got a nun high, because duh. You find the references in both Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, where it is mentioned in passing that Dumbledore's brother Aberforth got in trouble for a "minor scandal" with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement for "using inappropriate charms on a goat." Via Margot.id.au He knew he probably shouldn't be out here alone, but he just couldn't deal with everything. 'Madam Pomfrey says she's just in shock,' whispered Hermione. Filter By. With that firmly in mind, let's examine some famous uses of the potion in the books. Weird~) Which has 15 locks on it. " First, dark wizard Barty Crouch Jr. avoided jail by using the potion to take on the body of his own mother. Set in 6th year That's a joke that works on a couple of levels. The blonde-haired professor struggled to keep his face stern. Polyjuice Potion, a nefarious cocktail that is requested more frequently throughout the Harry Potter series than water, is one of many brews from the wizarding world that is probably illegal everywhere outside of Amsterdam -- more on that later. Hagrid's mother, meanwhile, was the giantess Fridwulfa. Centaurs rape human women -- that's what they do, that's a central part of their mythology. my updates are random but close together When all hope seems lost for Ellie, the Moon Goddess intervenes, and sends Ellie her warrior mates. It wasn't until his fourth year that he met The-Boy-That-Lived. Chapter One: October 31, 1981 "Albus have you lost your mind? When Ellie catches a window of opportunity, she escapes and finds a friendly pack to take her in. Neither of them make an effort to save Umbridge. You can create an infograpic and you could be on the front page of Cracked.com tomorrow! Vernon and Petunia Dursley along with their son Dudley are the only known occupants or the house, however in a cupboard hidden under the stairs lies a fragile broken little boy. Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor by cloneserpents - In this beloved erotic comedy with over 1,000 reviews, Harry leads his friends on a Horcrux hunt after reading a magical book that gives him special powers. It's a job that makes him feel good and put together like an adult, until a student comes to tell him something about her home life that takes Harry right back to his own troubled childhood. Warning: This story contains child abuse and implied sexual abuse. Harry didn't want to react this way. [A non-magical AU. Why is Hermione suddenly in love with Snape? and what happens when they slowly fall in love with each other will she melt his frozen heart, and will he heals hers? and our Now, if that had been the last time we saw Umbridge in the series, then you could say, OK, maybe these centaurs are different, maybe they just trampled her to death or stabbed her or tied her to a tree and strapped a bag full of oats to her face. In a desperate attempt to escape, he runs home to the Dursleys, and swears off magic. Harry is treated badly after that nightuntil .read to find out more. Snape is sharp and biting and sneering, but he is always that way with Harry. -Godric and Salazar are dating,if you don't like it PLEASE leave. In another, the famous centaur Nessus was killed while trying to rape a woman. It's a story about how Harry finds his true family. Lilith Conner was by all means not a normal 17 year old girl. mature themes including: However, none seem to even grace the presence of one certain mystery - Harry Potter. He is unpredictable, and every time some one thinks they've figured him out, he shows them just how wrong they are. It was clear from Harry's expression that no matter how angry he got and no matter how much he wished to punch straight through Lockhart's face, he was going to hold his temper and behave as he behaved with his uncle. She was fine being a loner, an outcast, a nobody. Home / Keywords / harry potter fanfiction harry and ginny. All of which is happening in a small town in South Texas. That's the point of centaurs as characters -- they have the heads of men and the animal urges of horses. Harry Potter has always known he was different. Self harm Yes, Lilith Conner is in fact a werewolf, or is supposed to be since she hasnt been able to Shift everyone says otherwise. He was satisfied, running a business, not intending to be in any relationship. 'No, I must have been dreaming ', Two characters watch Umbridge getting dragged away -- Harry Potter and Hermione Granger. #I DONT OWN HARRY POTTER#. But Snape rescues him! She originally thought that it would be impossible for the both of them to be together. I finally got my payment for being friends with that freak, wbu? Harry shuffled his feet as he walked around the lake. She finally found a man by using either an Imperius Curse (a mind control spell) or a love potion to make a wealthy man named Tom Riddle Sr. her lover, husband and private slave-stud for at least a year. Nobody really knew what was wrong with her, either. And, sure enough, Hagrid described his father as "a tiny little man," even by non-giant standards. Burton, please think about your second pregnancy., After just a week of getting dumped, Gabrielle Taylor learned from a common friend that her ex-boyfriend and best friend were already engaged! If you're a stupid Death Eater, what's the difference. So, the big question is how this "tiny little" man was able to successfully impregnate a titanic woman whose sex organs were probably more commodious to most humans than a hotel room in Tokyo. Thank you for reading.Ellie is an orphaned werewolf pup, kidnapped and held by an evil Alpha. Now on with the story. She desperately hid from him, avoided him and stayed far away from him!Who would have known that he would bring the baby to her doorstep? Ps: I do not own Harry Potter, J. K. Rowling is the o Harry's abuse is escalated and now he can't speak. What happens when the two collide? And that was the day Harry learned that you do not mess with Hermione Granger. And then you have the scene in The Deathly Hallows when Harry's best friend Ron, Hermione, Ron's brothers, Fleur Delacour and others all found out the hard way what it's like to have Harry Potter's junk in their trousers when they took the potion during a ploy to create a bunch of Potter decoys to foil an assassination attempt. Harry is found abused and is taken in by Snape, then later on Harry is tortured by Voldemort and Lucius with needles and becomes blind. This is Aaron Taylor-Johnson from Nowhere Boy. And in the wizard world, he is probably a sex offender. IS BEING REWRITTEN!!!!!!!!!! The longer the better. It's usually done in subtext (like the elderly wizard Dumbledore's homosexual relationship with the male wizard Grindelwald), but sometimes it's right there in the open for anyone perceptive enough to get it. The council additionally houses the Shadow Warriors, an equally diverse group of elites that police and fight those like Gunner who seek only to destroy. Not knowing how to deal with this new information Harry turns to an unlikely person, Severus Snape. Until an unlikely rescuer gives him the life he always wanted. All his innocence died when he came into his inheritance. When Harry is attacked at school he feels like he's an entirely different person living in the shell of who he used to be. She was abused, like Harry, if not more. In case you think this is just a scam by the jokers to hoodwink horny teenage wizards out of their money, we actually see a love potion in action later. COPYRIGHT 2005-2023 Cracked is published by Literally media Ltd., Dolores Umbridge Gets Gang Raped by Centaurs, Magical Date-Rape Drugs Are Legal and Sold in the Open, Polyjuice Potion and Temporary Gender Reassignment, Dumbledore's Brother Got Busted for Bestiality, This Deepfake Helps Settle Arnold and Stallones Greatest Feud, 15 Bizarre Things We Didn't Even Know the Earth Was Capable Of, 16 Truly Absurd Trivia Tidbits That Have Us Checking Our Carbon Monoxide Detector, All the Awful Possible Collides in a Scene from the Dilbert Episode of NewsRadio, One Dracula Comedy Isnt Enough for Nic Cage, THE 5 MOST DEPRAVED SEX SCENES IMPLIED BY 'HARRY POTTER', the elderly wizard Dumbledore's homosexual relationship with the male wizard Grindelwald, another movie treating female-on-male sexual assault as lighthearted fun, a ploy to create a bunch of Potter decoys to foil an assassination attempt, Go @#$% Yourself! Seemed like a bad idea they do, that is my answer to you from the! 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