You are independent. His self-absorbtion is engrained and chronic- and not my issue to fix. I have felt hurt and abandoned, left out, unwanted, ever since he started his masters two years ago and threatened by his preference for them over me. Its so annoying because Im a feminist but I just want to feel secure. And I would listen but then my insecurities would come back and were back to where we started. Now its almost been two weeks since weve seen each other. Thats hurtful. Maybe hes coping with financial problems in his professional or personal life, or grieving the los of someone he loves. Heres my concern-We live 70kms apart amd stick to phone calls and texts and online communication. 36 Questions to Ask Your Partner That Lead to Love, 6 Signs Youre Growing Apart From Your Partner, take a negative toll on your relationship, determine if the partnership is worth mending. I would put makeup on and wait hours for him to finish his video games, only for him to tell me hes sorry he got caught up, but hes tired and doesnt have time. And youll likely receive the same treatment. Everything is done ON PURPOSE to stick a fork in his eye like youre not that important, sorry. There may be more social pressure on men to be the ones who go after women, but hes got feelings too. Sometimes when I try to kiss him he shoved me away. He may be afraid to show sensitivity, make sure to let him know that its okay for him to cry. And now a year & half down the line we seem to be in a rut. He doesnt ever say I love you first, he doesnt hold my hand, the most hell ever do on his own is give me a kiss here and there and theyre quick pecks. It was all too perfect in the beginning and I was fearful. I just lack security in myself that I need to fill. I just badly like him and want to care of him. He used to be very motivated and neat. My friends have been pulling their hair out trying to get him to help them plan my party and he ignores their texts. but he refuses to communicate, refuses to try and he does this thing where he grasps for straws so that he can point the finger of blame on me. I tried to be understanding and not ask for a lot but it just got worse. There is a possibility we wont be together if he gets accepted into grad school because its in another state. Honestly he may need some space. So I stated being more involved in his hubbies then usual and listening. He never wants to go anywhere or do anything. One particularly painful reason that a partner has checked out could be that they've lost interest in the relationship and don't wish to pursue it any longer. im still giving him a 100 up till today. I dont know what to do. and even whn im thr at his place, he would play his game until its time to sleep and then repeat the same thing everyday. Hi Angela, Well Im no expert with relationships. Its been an extremely rocky relationship but has the tendency to resolve itself. He is not often visit to me. It just seems like a cliche movie begining or something. Could it be that he lost interest in me? Im feeling pained and upset with myself the concessions Ive made and feeling as though theres no room for compromise. The only thing I get from him are words. He has lost interest in everything. Im in college and so is he. I dont quite think he is a narcissist, because he does have a heart and I have seen him show compassion; however he is very proud and self-absorbed. Also i didnt know if i could put this but yes I did give myself to him and it was my first time part of me regrets it and part of me doesnt but I promise it was legal but yeah. Wow girl as Im reading this I cant believe I didnt write it lol. This guy is not considerate at all and does not have your best interest at heart. Texts are still slow. Not just that, sexually as well. im still inlove with him up to now but i feel so tired understanding him and ive been unhappy throughtout the relationship. I would break up and then we would make up. Not to mention, our second date was going to look at a puppy he was looking at after meeting my dog. Hi Jessica, Sweetie this man is never going to love you the way you want him too.He may love you the only way he knows how and its not a healthy kind of love by your comments. I do really love him even we just got together. I guess subconsciously I acted that way because hes quite lazy and I didnt want to cut him any slack in fear that he would put in less effort to maintain the long distance. I am very confused and angry at myself because I know he wasnt like that in his previous relationship endeavors. Ive talked to him about it twice to no avail. Text messages are very slow to respond, I dont text him ten times a day either. He doesnt come over, we dont go on dates. I absolutely abhor talking to anyone ever. I just wish he would care more. After going through with this behaviour for around 3 months (I was going insane) I caught him lying and speaking to a number of females behind my back as more than just friends. I think its not enough to say I dont feel like Im a priority. doesn't pay attention to you, and they're not fully present when youre together. If your S.O. I feel its all one sided. But he appriciate my participation in some kind of sexul things. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. Not in an highly expected way but just generally happy and loving! The life situations just put our relationship to the side. Its too much. I dont think what Im asking for is difficult to do that it would take months to see any results. He broke up with her partner before we had sex they already messed up before me. He Finds Your Attention Diverted. He has been better now and takes time to analyze his intention before he says more. He doesnt know how to express himself anymore. But I understand coz hes really busy at work. He comes to stay here but thats it really. A lovely text of him telling me that we can talk everyday when I wake up in the morning. The difference in mine is that he does apologies very often but never changesand I cant keep up anymore, I am simply not happy and not sure what do to do with that, I even doubting myself If I am not the one who is the wrong person. Ill leave him alone. If I dont ask him are we seeing each other today? He will want to know why youve stopped texting and he will be determined to get your attention. I feel like now hes doing things to purposely piss me off like not talk to me all day or say that Im always starting crap. Yep. I do want to believe its because of all his family issues that all this is happening but I am well known for making excuses for boyfriends when things arent right. He texts me every morning and night and we often text during the day. He always tells me that he loves me and always talks about the future seriously, but honestly it just feels like I just have to take his word for it. I understand exactly where youre coming from. He hasnt wine and dine me yet, nor is affectionate until it comes to bed time. Romantic. Im not looking for validation from him, but support. Especially if you have a SON!! He had agreed we both need to be more positive and would be open to doing little exercises each day. He had stopped taking pictures of me, he stopped liking my pictures in social media, the gifts stopped, and overall I felt as a hassle when I hung out with him. He has joint custody of his 17 yr old daughter and about 2 months ago he found out that her stepdad had been engaging in sexual activity with her. That said, he told me hes doing a lot better now and hes still acting distant. Psychologically, the pressure was destroying me. Were both in college and when we started dating we were together all the time, we went out together with friends, we watched movies, etc. Then, youll know what to do when your boyfriend makes no effort in your relationship. This isnt a man. Even if I am not complaining he immediately jumps down my throat that something I am pointing out is a complaint. You believe your boyfriend loves you, but he stopped showing his love in tangible ways. I realized that despite all Ive shared with him about how his lack of effort makes me feel, he wasnt really listening or caring about it. Weve had a roller coaster of a relationship. Even when I have my moments he still comes back around. Rather, letting go is about loosening unhealthy attachments in current and past relationships. I have no idea what this is all about, but the roller coaster needs to stop, its too hard for me to deal with. I miss him terribly. Its insane. Actually they havnt shared any sexual pictures or that was not very sexual conversation. And i just wish the fighting would stop, i seriously cant take. He wont think through things for different perspective. I feel like my boyfriend of 5 years doesnt really care anymore. Its 90 degrees out so I thought Id stay cool and look a little less like I live in a dumpster. The last 3 sentences are what I just told myself & did! The last time I told him about him not making me a priority, he said felt he wasnt good enough for me. He is not a bad person, his life I guess doesnt have room for me..This decision has however, broken me, I know it was right but it still hurts I just hope I wasnt expecting too much??? I just feel like that is so little reassurance for what would be 7 years together, that we would have the possibility to then just maybe live together. My friend found someone perfect really quickly on Tinder 3 years ago, and they just got married in November. August came around I went back to school. Why should women do all the work no they shouldnt it should be a mutual thing. Especially since at the beginning thats when you have your honeymoon stage with the feeling of butterflies and the sweet words. I know love makes me blind, could anyone tell me what I have been missing in this relationship please? Letting Go of Someone You Loveisnt about getting over it. Letting go doesnt mean forgetting, pretending you didnt lose an important relationship, or guarding your heart so you dont get hurt again. I have told him time and time again that this is something i need in a relationship and he admits to not doing enough but has NEVER changed. Just my opinion. No, I was this woman a few times in my life and it isnt seeing a place i sakd id never go to again. We usually see each other every weekend but he normally works 6 days a week, 10 hours a day so we actually spend less than 24 hours a week with each other. What you talk about really does depend on the issues youre facing, how long youve been together, and why your boyfriend isnt making an effort in your relationship. I came across a guy who seemed familiar but had a different name. I do not want to give up on relationship, But seems to be STAGNANT right now. he says he wants to break off because he is busy in his work and stuff. he is so family oriented and almost makes it seem as if his parents and his family is more important than me. If hes not at work, hes in his reclyner n thats where he stays n doesnt get up unless he has to pee. I asked him to go to a Valentines Day dance and we went. 1) You would start to see your boyfriend noticing how positive, content and a happy individual you are turning out to be suddenly, and then wonder if therell be any other guys whod potentially be eyeing youbecause you are really becoming such a happy and lovely girl. I feel he could have a gf or just not be that interested. I always yearn for good morning texts, prioritize seeing me during his off days and checking in during the day. And because Ive been depressed lately makes it that Im not much to look at, so why would he want to take me out now. He assumed I wanted an argument for asking him to take the bin out. I dont understand why he wouldnt make you diner when you took out all the ingredients. He says he doesnt want to text and show love and tells me to be patient. but he never ever ever takes any pictures of me to show me off. My fiance and I have been together for a year.. when we first got together he was so happy and kind to me.. but then there was all this stuff from his job getting him stressed out ..and bills, and family, and Im not sure what else..his last job he had a manager that spoke so poorly towards him and the other employees plus the customers. Thanks for letting me vent gals. We have been together for almost a year. We were friends for about 2 years before I gave him a shot and when we were still just friends he would try to spend as much time with me as possible and hangout all the time. I have asked him to write more often if we do not physically meet so often, but I dont want to keep pushing him for more attention. You Are Very Possessive & Insecure about Him. Do I deserve this? Im not sure how to approach any of this with him. And acts like a concerned boyfriend if I dont immediately respond. It breaks my heart not talking to him and hearing about his day but I know this was for the best. However he has an interview for one. We got in a fight because I said I was upset because he hadnt made time for me in the last week. My boyfriend has told me that multiple times and yet we are in the same place months later. I feel like a roommate or guest or kept woman instead of woman he loves. And checking in during the day girl as Im reading this I believe... 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